It’s just a card….
Because life can be a little hectic, six days prior to Mother’s day I realized I am running out of time to mail my mother her card. I immediately headed to the store in search of the perfect card that would deliver the emotions and gratitude I have for her. I then proceeded to personalize it with a note and send it out in the mail on Monday morning thinking that six days from Florida to North Carolina should be enough time. I envisioned her receiving it on the eve of Mother’s day; well that isn’t exactly what happened. The postal carrier came and went with no card from Claudia. Of course I apologized profusely to my mom, who graciously said “It is ok”, but in the background was my dad speaking loudly saying “You should have mailed it earlier” (a true Template). My immediate response when I hung up the phone was, “Can you believe my dad! At least she is getting a card from me.” Not gracious at all and I am embarrassed to even share that with you. See in my family, like others we have siblings who do not talk to each other or my parents.
In my moment of feeling guilty and inadequate, I immediately went to blame others. First I blamed my “Template” father for always being so systematic, judgmental, and not understanding my busy life. Then I went to justifying my behavior by deflecting to the estranged family dynamics, “At least I sent a card!” The truth of the matter is when I stepped outside of my emotional response and processed the situation in the quite, I realized that my “Template” father was in fact correct; I should have mailed it earlier. In that moment I realized that I am out of balance. I was so in “Action” mode of getting things done, I was ignoring the other sides of myself. If I had been balanced, the “Template” would have had the task on the “could do” list sooner and it would have gone out earlier. If I was in balance, the “Creative” could have created a hand crafted creation instead of a manufactured card. If I was in balanced the “Harmony” would realize that it is more than just a card or a holiday, but a way of expressing love and gratitude for someone who means a lot to me. After all isn’t that what most of us want, to feel loved and appreciated?
The very next day, I picked up the phone and called my mom. I apologized again and this time I added, “Dad was right, I should have mailed the card sooner.” For me that was difficult to say that my dad was right, but necessary in order for my head and heart to find peace. It also created awareness for me that it was more than a card; it was about living with balance. In essence, the experience was a true gift to me, a reminder to always check-in and live with balance.
