The holiday season is well on its way, which can be joyful for some and challenging for others. It can lead to communication breakdowns or misunderstandings, especially during family gatherings. I felt inspired to share my train experience from my first trip to London.

I was taking a train from Heathrow Airport to a train station near my host’s home. I missed my stop because I was expecting it to sound different. My dyslexia also amplifies this communication opportunity for me because I have difficulty pronouncing unfamiliar words.

When my host realized I should have arrived by then, she called me to find out what had happened. When I told her where I was, she said I had gone about 20 minutes past my stop. She then explained I needed to get off at the next stop and head back in the opposite direction.

I finally reached my destination, and I was exhausted from my long overnight flight, carrying my suitcase and backpack, all while navigating a new country. When I stepped outside the train station, there she was, dressed in purple, waving with her big smile. I felt instant relief.

The unfamiliar regional dialect confused me. This is a perfect example of how we can easily miscommunicate when we do not recognize the communication style or dialect of the people we are speaking with, especially when heightened by emotional challenges like fatigue and nervousness.

As my host, Su, helped clarify the situation and explain the difference in pronunciation, CHAT can help us understand each communication style and how they prefer to be communicated with, so we can enjoy the holidays without misunderstandings or conflicts.

The Creative Communication Style tends to be more introverted, and all the hustle and bustle of the holiday season can make them seek solitude. This is not because they don’t want to spend time with their friends and family. The overstimulation requires them to have alone time to recharge. So, if someone you know fits into this communication style, the best gift we can offer them is time alone and understanding that it is not personal; it is what they need in the big picture.

The Harmony Communication Style thrives during the holiday season. They enjoy hosting and all the get-togethers. It can fill their hearts with the connections they deeply love. However, they can sometimes overcommit during the holidays and suffer from burnout. Offering to help with clean-up or authentic words of appreciation for their efforts is a gift that would go a long way.

The Action Communication Style tends to wait until the last minute to shop (they love the thrill of last-minute holiday shopping) and can often be late to functions. They do not set out to purposely offend people. One of the greatest gifts we can give the Action Communication Style is grace. Knowing in advance that they will most likely be late and not taking it personally is not only a gift to them but also to ourselves. It allows us not to waste our precious energy on being upset and to use it to celebrate the time we do get to spend together.

The Template Communication Style likes to plan ahead and often has their holiday shopping and gift wrapping done well in advance. They don’t particularly care for tardiness or surprises. If they are hosting, they have thought through the details and made a timeline. The best gift we can give them is showing up on time, or even better, a little early.

CHAT, when applied, allows us to zoom out and not take things personally, especially during times when our emotions can be high or when we are fatigued, which the holidays can often bring on. It allows us to understand the other person’s communication style and to meet them where they are so that we can enjoy our time together, as life is short.

Just like with my invisible learning disability, not everyone is joyful during the holiday season. For years, I have personally struggled with depression. Most people never knew because I hid it behind my fake smile, which was sometimes misinterpreted, just like I misunderstood my train stop. People thought I was not interested or appreciative, and on the inside, I was trying to survive.

If you are unsure about someone’s communication style, you could be more like Su and greet people with compassion, presence, and a smile!