I was visiting a new city for business. It was late and dark, and I found myself gripping the wheel and feeling confused. Heading in the wrong direction, I was shaken and terrified. I was driving into oncoming traffic on a one-way street. Someone could have been hurt or even killed. How did I get into this situation in the first place? Was I not paying attention to the signs? Was I distracted by thoughts?

As I contemplate this experience, it reminds me of a recent conversation I had with someone I love. I walked into a conversation, not realizing it was a one-way conversation. Once again, I was heading down the road the wrong way. Did I miss the signs? Was I distracted by my thoughts, feelings, life?

Without knowing, I hurt someone. From that point, there would be no communication with me anymore via telephone. I was banned from phone calls, text messages only. It took me ten months after the fact to be informed.

It was only after another misunderstanding when I invited them to have a clearing conversation that I found out that I had offended them by asking to make an appointment almost a year earlier. For me, we could not seem to connect. Our schedules were both very hectic at the time. My suggestion to make an appointment was not meant as an insult rather the opposite. For me, it was a priority to keep in touch. Since our lives at that time had been so crazy, I wanted to make sure we found time to stay in touch.

When we have made decisions about others and do not express our choices to the other person, it sets them up to drive the wrong way down a one-way street. It can lead to people getting hurt or causing death to a relationship.

When we have expectations of others that we do not express, it is like holding them for ransom but never telling them our demands. It may not even be a one-way street, but actually, a dead-end that the unknowing party did not see coming.

Effective communication happens when both parties are present and willing to have an uncomfortable conversation. When we are emotional, whether it be sad, happy, or angry, effective communication cannot be present. Neutral is coming to the conversation from a grounded emotion. From here, a one-way street can become a two-way road. Each person can express their thoughts and feelings. From here, we can agree to a new direction. Sometimes that is going the same direction. Other times realizing that there is a fork in the road, but at least from this place, everyone is on the same map knowing their destination.

Have you ever been in this position? What would you do? The next time I find myself going the wrong way down a road, I will pull over as soon as possible. I will take a few breaths or walk away until I find my calm. I will ask myself did I miss the signs? I will explore to see if this road has an opportunity ahead to be a two-way street. If not, I have to do my best to be at peace; to forgive, love, and release. A one-way road can never become a two-way alone.